World Breastfeeding Week-17 mo

A wonderful week it is! A week celebrating and bringing awareness to the most precious act of nourishment and nurturing. I know I sound like a lactivist. But I'm kinda ok with that.

I haven't really been very informative on my own breastfeeding journey. And I think that has something do with the fact that it's become so second nature. At 17 months Millie is still nursing. That's right I'm nursing a toddler. Joining the ranks of the woman on the cover of Time magazine a few years ago, women around the world, and millions of mothers whom came generations before me.

But it wasn't always so second nature. I've encountered engorgement, oversupply, (which is a huge hurtle-it's not as wonderful as it sounds) clogged ducts, mastitis, and milk pimples. I've felt overwhelmed with breastfeeding on demand and thought I heard my breast pump say "Psycho, Psycho" at 3 am while trying to find some relief for my rock hard breasts. Psycho for wanting to nurse so badly. Psycho for reading so much about it. Psycho that knowing for me, I had no other option. What a ride this part of motherhood has been.

Now though? Now, like I said it's second nature- it's what I do. I have fallen in love with mothering through breastfeeding. I know that seems to give nursing so much power but for me it has been the cornerstone. Breastfeeding has had me feeling like I have been hit by a truck (mastitis) and like I'm on top of the world (baby rolls, calming tantrums, nursing to sleep). Nursing has taught me to sit down and chill out. Like much of this motherhood gig, it's taught me of giving more of myself to another than I knew I could give.

Quite simply I nurse Millie still because she needs it. Some may roll their eyes at this statement but it's true. Millie needs nursing, for comfort, for security, for nourishment, for health. If you think I have enabled her to be a needy, insecure, and scarred for life human because of our to-term nursing relationship then you have obviously never met my daughter. Nursing is when we slow down from climbing the hoosier, jumping from the coffee table, and terrorizing the dog.

It's just part of our daily life. It's our normal. It is normal. I have been so thankful that I chose to not listen to that breast pump or anyone else. To continue on feeding her the normal food of our kind. To nurture her in the way that came natural to me. I will keep on boobin'.



We Decided To Bloom

We are renters. Have been since we got married 2 short years ago. We live in a small farmhouse that needs TLC. We have ample outside living and love the distance from town. It's a pretty good fit for now. But we know it's not forever. After 2 years here we are starting to get antsy. Itching for a place of our own. Tired of waiting and praying and seeming to continually get the answer of "Not yet."

It's not that we haven't tried. We have looked at homes, homes in town and no matter how badly we want a place to call ours seeing my next door neighbor just doesn't feel right. After one house deal fell sour over a year ago we have decided to step back and see where He is leading us.  We have a roof over our head. The need is met, we can wait for the next move.

A home with land seems to be etched deep within our hearts. A day doesn't pass in which Jerrel and I don't talk about our future home. Something small-for I believe love grows best in small houses and something with green acres surrounding.

But it hasn't happened yet, we don't know the timeline, we only know who holds the time. We found ourselves in a place of "When we have our own place.." and "If we are here next year..." And when I say we I really mean me. It was constant. It was exhausting. It was discouraging.

So this year we decided to bloom. It was time to do what we can with what we've got, even if we are restless and wanting our own piece. Waiting forever to start the life we want wasn't working. There were things we could do right here.


We bloomed. We built a chicken coop and we bought birds. We gather our own eggs every morning.

We bloomed. We tilled up our front yard and planted our garden. We haul in beans, zucchini, and cucumbers each day. We cook, can, and preserve our bounty.

We bloomed. We planted flowers. Flowers in the ground, that push their roots deep into the earth. Flowers I pick and enjoy on my dining room table and kitchen window sill.

We bloomed. We painted walls. We got a dog. We say Thank You everyday.

So for now we are still renters, it fits for now. We still catch ourselves dreaming of when and if but it's not constant, there's a sense of contentment. Who knows, maybe K Farms will be stuck with us front yard gardeners, backyard chickens keepers, crazy kinda crunchy kids forever.

We bloomed and it feels so good. So I'm telling you; stop waiting, BLOOM where you are planted.