The Woes of Two Eldest Planning a Wedding

I'm the eldest in my family. Jerrel is the oldest in his family. We both have a mother and father who have been married for over 20 years and two younger brothers who are in the lovely and ever so popular adolescence age group.

I have learned about birth order a couple different times and each time I find the theories interesting and strangely true.

Senor Smarty Pants and I are not wild and crazy people. Well maybe just not wild. And maybe I'm the crazy one, but we are reasonable people who, obviously by our chosen trades trainings' (nurse and educator), want to help people, want to take care of people. We want everyone to be ok.

For a long time we have expressed to each other that we want a small, quiet, intimate wedding, in a place that fits the previous description. Just our families, just us. However, every time we would breach this topic with one another we would immediately speculate how our families would react. My family would be a go-we have been on many vacations and like traveling to new places. His...we weren't so sure of. Oh sure they'd say ok because it's how we want it but would they really be in? They aren't travelers, and when I say they I mean the boys. It takes an act of Congress to get them off the home place, even if it's only to K-town which is about 80 miles.

We wondered, would they be ok?

Then there was the grandparents. We love them all dearly, we actually would love to have them there. But with six sets, our location being so far away, trying to work around everyone's schedule, lodging, a few different circumstances, and then just logistics of it all we found that all of these factors were defeating our purpose. Simple. Stress free. Not that these people stress us out just planning a trip for so many did.

So once again we wondered, would they be ok?

When Jerrel proposed we knew May was the month. He graduates, I'm free to choose my student teaching placement and for heaven's sake, we have waited long enough! We needed at least a week for this whole shindig. So it wasn't simply "Picking a Date!" But then there was graduation, district track, the cabin wasn't available one week, another graduation, then state track. Most of which were in different weeks. So we talked to our brothers, mothers, and fathers, we ho hummed, and just let it rest. We came to a conclusion on the same day at separate locations and when we came together and talked it just felt right.

But through this whole process it was about, them being ok.

I can hear people now, "Don't worry about what they think or want. It's your wedding." Yatta Yatta people, I hear you people but the bottom line is Senor Smarty Pants and I don't exactly operate that way. It's not about being people pleasers or making sure everyone's happy because that's never going to happen, it is about being thoughtful. Making sure that everyone is at the very least heard and understood. Because until Jerrel and I do what we do, take care of people, even when that doesn't mean "pleasing" them, WE won't feel at peace.

So while we go through this wedding planning stuff we will ultimately do what we think is best and what we want, but we will always wonder, ask, and try our darnedest to make sure everyone is at the very least ok.

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